Fear

21 Feb

I can only recall one time in my life in which I’ve experienced truly paralyzing, spine-tingling fear – the kind that breaches the emotional realm and becomes physical*.

In high school I dated a Mormon boy. He was a nice boy, very intelligent, and we got along very well because we had a similar sense of humor and I enjoyed his stories and intellectual discussion.

He was also very religiously devout. One day he brought me a copy of The Book of Mormon and asked that I read it. There’s a claim that those who read the book will know its truth because they will feel a burning in the chest. At least, I think that’s how it goes – it’s been several years.

Though rather underdeveloped in practice, I have always had a strong interest in learning about other religions, so I was interested to read the book. That night, I went to bed early so I could devote some time to it, and started at the beginning.

I got through a few chapters and suddenly became acutely aware of the perception that I was no longer alone in my room. I glanced up at the doorway. There was nobody there.

Then something brought my gaze to the papazan chair in the corner of my room. And there I saw them. There were two. Two, quite distinct and separate…

Beings. I don’t know how to describe them. I could see them. But couldn’t. It was like looking at two voids in space. Two … living … shadowy … voids. One sat in the chair, and the other seemed to perch on the side of it. They sat there and looked at me with eyes that I couldn’t see.

Fear. Bone-chilling terror like I have never experienced before or since shot straight through my body.

My arms and muscles became completely incapable of responding to any command from my brain. I was rendered physically unable to move, completely frozen, able to do nothing but stare at my supernatural visitors.

The beings didn’t move and didn’t show any physical signs of aggression. It was though they were simply there to observe me, to be present.

And yet they were ominous in a way I can only describe as evil. Not “evil” in the sense that our Commander in Chief defines terrorists, which is a weak descriptor of deed or thought.

Evil in substance, something that is menacing in its very existence, a physical incarnation of the unimaginable, like a black hole.

I sat there for what seemed like hours, though I know it was only minutes – bound captive in my frozen state.

Eventually, I let out a prayer. It was nothing more than a whisper for deliverance, a simple, shaky invocation of something my mother taught me.

And they left.

I sat there in solitude, staring at the utter emptiness of my room, questioning my own sanity. Would they return? Did I really see them? What did they want?

Eventually, I laid the book down, turned off the light and went to sleep.

I told the boy what had happened. He quickly consulted his elder and reported back to me the determination that because I was opening a book of Truth, demons had been sent to me to frighten me away from it and prevent its revelation to me.

I kept the book. That was the last time I read from it though.

*There is a train of thought that brought me to this, which I will deal with in a later (most likely private) post.


 
  1. jane

    February 21, 2007 at 2:32 am

    That’s interesting & I don’t doubt for 1 second that it happened. The spiritual world is definitely there, we usually just aren’t aware of it.
    I always wonder about beliefs that give demonic power more than God’s…then how strong can their God really be?

     
  2. Angelika

    February 21, 2007 at 12:30 pm

    Compelling post!

    I always find it interesting that different religions explain an occurrence in different ways. Whatever fits their philosophy.

    I’ve studied a lot of different religions too. From Jehovah’s Witnesses to Wicca (two totally opposite end of the spectrum).

    Anyway, once…at least 15 years ago, when I was heavily into Wicca, I woke up one morning to see about 7 “beings” beside my bed.

    They kept coming back.

    I wasn’t scared, though. Just irritated because I felt compelled to go online and tell people what the “beings” were telling me. (Not actual voices, just pictures or smells or whatever.)

    Anyway, I finally got tired of them showing up every day. Not the same ones, but “beings” nonetheless. Everyday. I felt like Whoopi Goldberg in “Ghost”.

    I said several prayers and they finally stopped coming.

     
  3. Girl, Dislocated

    February 21, 2007 at 1:17 pm

    I have no idea how you managed to go to bed or turn off the lights after that!

     
  4. Jenn

    February 21, 2007 at 1:35 pm

    Very interesting. It’s my feeling that beings can appear for various reasons, good or bad. I would have to agree that they were trying to discourage you from reading any further.

    I’m with Girl, dislocated I wouldn’t have been able to sleep after that either.

     
  5. Imperfect Christian

    February 21, 2007 at 2:33 pm

    Wow, that’s freaky. I may just have to read it to see what I discover! How did you SLEEP after that?!?!

     
  6. Zephra

    February 22, 2007 at 7:07 am

    I have had experiences that I can not explain but I know happened too. I think the boy may have been right.

     
  7. Mama's Moon

    February 23, 2007 at 1:20 am

    Ohhh boy, that one gave me the chills! I completely believe in ‘other beings’ and have been witness to them being around on several occasions. But I’ve never experienced anything in the way you’ve described. Now I’m gonna have to sleep with my light on tonight!!

     
  8. whenn

    February 23, 2007 at 1:56 pm

    I am SUCH a scardy cat, and I must say, your story leaves me shaking. I don’t know what I would have done if I were you.
    I haven’t seen beings in my life yet. I’m glad though. I do believe in them, but I don’t ever want to see one. No way.

     
  9. joi

    February 25, 2007 at 7:02 pm

    oh scooter, i remember this. still freaks me out. I am so so so grateful that God comes to our deliverance when crazy things like that happen…