Archive for the ‘Koren’ Category

Stuff My Kids Have Said in the Past 48 Hours

21 Apr
This is what I get when I ask them to stand up straight, like a soldier.

This is what I get when I ask them to stand up straight for a picture (like a soldier).  Hooligans.

 

This weekend we took our kids to dinner at a nice sushi restaurant.  As we were leaving, one of the restaurant staff members stopped us to comment how cute, well-behaved, and well-mannered our children were – that clearly we had “the whole package.”  We thanked him, and left the restaurant thinking, “If only you knew…”

Sometimes I think it’s a wonder that we’re even ALLOWED to have more kids.

*  *  *

“Mama, I’m not saying you’re fat… but I can totally tell you’re pregnant from the back.”
“Thanks, Koren.”
“What?  I’m not saying you look fat.”
“That’s exactly what you’re saying.”
“No, because you’re not fat, you’re pregnant.  I can just tell from the back because you’re … bigger.”
“Koren, it would be a good idea for you to stop talking now.”
“WOW, CAN I MEASURE YOUR THIGHS?”
“No you can not.  Please go somewhere else now.”
“But… can I show Kaelin???  KAELIN COME HERE AND LOOK AT MAMA’S THIGHS.”

*  *  *

Pastor: “We have died to sin…”
Kaelin: “You don’t look dead.”

*  *  *

“Mama, we learned in school that Forgiveness is ‘deciding that a person who has wronged you doesn’t have to pay.’  So you can’t give me a consequence for disobeying, because that means you haven’t forgiven me.”

(I may need to suggest that the school examine the differences between “forgiveness” and “grace”…)

*  *  *

“Mama, look!  We mixed our paint colors together and made a new color!  We call it ‘Alchemy.'”

*  *  *

Koren was following Kaelin around, nit-picking everything she was doing (or not doing).  She was ignoring him, and headed out to the sun room.
“Kaelin, you need to pick up your shoes.  Kaelin, you’re supposed to be-”  (The door closed in his face.)
He let out a big sigh and shook his head.
“Oh, Kaelin…  Sometimes life with her is so hard.”

*  *  *

“Koren are you sure your slippers need to be washed?”
“Yes, they’re dirty.”
“They’re brand new.  How are they dirty?”
“I stuck them in my underwear to see how big it would make my penis look.  It looked really big!”

*  *  *

During the church service, Kaelin entertained herself for a few minutes by listing members of her family and one word to describe each of them:
Cousin: Active
Aunt: Busy
Uncle: Willing
Kaelin: Funny
Mama: Firm
Daddo: Ridiculous
Koren: Weird
Grandmommy: Kind
Grandpa: Patient

Koren asked her what “firm” meant.  She spent a few moments in consternation, trying to come up with a definition, and eventually said she couldn’t tell him because “Mama won’t like it.”

“It means I make you follow the rules,” I suggested.  She readily agreed to that as a suitable way to put it.  I kind of wish I could have been in her head when she was filtering her OWN definitions though.

*  *  *

“Kaelin, you’re getting tall. Are you growing AGAIN? Who gave you permission to grow?”
“Daddo, YOU gave me permission to grow when you sexed Mama and made me.”
Realizing that he had just completely lost control of this conversation, J stood there blinking in shock – which she apparently interpreted as his failure to comprehend what she was talking about.
So she punctuated the announcement with, “You know, …” (insert pelvic thrust).

DISCLAIMER: While the fact that we are having a baby soon has opened the door to many … delicate … conversations about where babies come from, at no time did any of them involve any form of pelvic thrusting.  I HAVE NO IDEA where she learned (or came up with) that.

 
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Posted in Kaelin, Kid Quotes, Koren, Parenting, Pregnancy, School

 

Dino-Mite Party

16 Jun

We started the event off with come-and-go crafts and activities, so kids could kind of pick what they were interested in.  I somehow managed to wrangle a very brave friend to come help supervise the activities (thanks Aubree!!!) and kind of turned the kids loose in the sunroom.  Activities included assembling pterodactyl gliders (which I apparently don’t have any pictures of), as well as:

Dinosaur puzzles:

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Sticker scenes:

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Painting sun catchers:

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And this funny little dinosaur stand-up that I got on a last-minute whim, but that the kids seemed to really enjoy more than I thought they would:

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Naturally, with all this to offer, the thing the kids found most fascinating was the playhouse that resides in our sunroom.  But hey, I had 19 kids in my sunroom and they were entertained.  I still call that a win.

Next was the highlight of the party: the Dino Dig.  We buried the bones of a T-Rex skeleton model in a sandbox in the back yard, and set the kids loose, equipped with shovels and brushes.

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Our Junior Paleontologists found all 30 or so bones in a few minutes, and had a great time up to their elbows in the sand.

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Koren even found the skull, which was very exciting.

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After we hosed everybody down (literally), it was time for some food.

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Other than the traffic problem, this worked remarkably well.  We didn’t even have any spilled punch, which was nothing short of a miracle, IMHO.  Koren took it upon himself to serve all his friends punch, and did an excellent job.

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They even liked the party hats.

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This was probably the quietest part of the party, and all the adults were able to visit because they could finally  hear each other for the first time.  The chaos was well-managed throughout the party and the kids were well-behaved… but frankly, when you put 19 kids in an enclosed metal sunroom, the noise is going reach some really ungodly decibel levels.

Pretty soon, it was time for the piñata.  I had a terrible time finding a dinosaur piñata this year, and of couse as SOON as I purchased this monstrosity,

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I walked into Target the next day to find the PERFECT dinosaur piñata that even matched our colors.  But by that point, Koren had already fallen in love with the Red Giant (which was nearly as tall as he is), so we used it anyway, and Perfect Piñata got relegated to Table Decor Piñata.

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Every kid got a turn to smack the piñata  and Kaelin finally busted it open.  The kids swarmed in on the downfall of candy and it was all collected in about .3 seconds

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And last but not least, it was time for CAKE!

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Koren loved his Volcano/Fossil cake… and by the looks of it, some other people liked it too.

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By the time everyone finished their dessert, the party was basically over.  It was a whirlwind hour-and-a-half, but the kids seemed to really have a great time.  And my son has a really cute group of friends.

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_DSC9768After everyone left, we assembled Koren’s souvenir from his birthday: the T-Rex skeleton that was unearthed during the dino-dig.  He says it was his favorite part.

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And with that, this Dinosaur party was history.  A special thanks to Jens for helping me decorate and clean, and a HUGE Thankyouicouldneverhavepulleditoffwithoutyou to Aubree for dedicating her time to supervising kids, cleaning up, protecting my camera and carpet from mayhem, making things transition smoothly, and generally keeping my sanity in tact during this crazy adventure!

Happy 5th Birthday, Koren!  I love you!  And Mama needs a nap now.

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Waves

25 Feb

My son’s personality is an intriguing dichotomy.  He is frequently a total, off-the-wall goofball who loves to make jokes and crack others (and himself) up with his silly antics and humor.  His laugh is infectious and when something really tickles him he wants to share it (again and again) with everyone around him. He is constantly coming up with ways to make me laugh.

But he can also be a serious scholar, who grasps intangible concepts far beyond his age level.  He can spend lengthy periods of time pouring over a puzzle or a book, and sometimes retreats from the social atmosphere because he just needs some “alone time.”

He misses Xander.  He has been remarkably resilient in the wake of losing his best friend in a drowning accident last summer, but Xander is frequently on his mind and he occasionally has days when he seems to struggle with the weight of permanent (at least, for the length of this lifetime) loss.  I think true grief is like that, coming in waves where sometimes the seas are calm and you can manage through life as usual, and other times it comes out of nowhere and knocks your boat over.

A couple of weeks ago, I was in my craft room when I started to hear a small, whimpering voice.  At first I thought maybe the kids were playing (they frequently role-play, where one is the parent and the other is the kid… and the kid role involves a LOT of whining).  But I soon realized that Kaelin was downstairs, so I followed the sound and found Koren sitting by himself in the media room.  The Apple TV’s slideshow was running and he was watching our family pictures scroll up the screen.

“You ok, bud?”
“Mama… I miss Xander.  I want things to be like they were in that picture.  With me and Xander at Chuck E Cheese.”
“Were you talking to Xander just now?”
“Yeah.”

I want so badly to make this better for him.  That’s my right after all, isn’t it?  The Sacred Superpower granted to all parents:  kisses and words to offer that make all the boo-boos feel better and all the monsters disappear.

But – surprise –  there are some wounds that can’t be healed with hugs and kisses.  These wounds continue to hurt the ones you try so hard to shield.

He had another wave yesterday.  We were at a restaurant with my family and Koren suddenly retreated.  I noticed him sitting in a corner instead of in his chair and asked him to come sit with me.  He climbed up in my lap and we chatted for a bit, and then I took him to the bathroom.  Once we were in there, between his goofy attempts to make himself invisible so he could jump out and surprise me, we had the following conversation:

“Mama, can I tell you something?”
“Of course.”
“Do you know why I was sitting in the corner?”
“No.  Why?”
“Because I was thinking of Xander.  And I wish we were playing together.”

His mood picked up after lunch and he seemed to really enjoy the rest of the day (especially T-Ball practice), but his friend remained on his mind.  He brought it up again at bedtime and told me that every time he sees a helicopter it makes him think of Xander (who was flown to the hospital in one).  He wanted to know if, whenever they are reunited in Heaven some day, Xander would still be four, or if they will be the same age.  He still prays for Xander’s family nearly every night.

Today, he’s in good spirits.  He bounded down the stairs this morning full of life and hoping for a boiled egg with breakfast.  While eating, he ruminated on whether he wants to be a teacher or a doctor when he grows up.  It appears yesterday’s funk has passed.

Even though his instinct is to retreat when he’s feeling down or needing to process, talking about it does seem to help him.  Despite my wishes (and futile attempts), I can’t calm the ocean for him.  I can only ride the waves with him, and hold him tight when swells get high.

Perhaps that’s all he needs from me.

 

Korenisms: Tickling Edition

13 Dec

Kaelin: Koren, did you know that Daddo only tickles people he loves?
Koren:  Yes.  I did know that.
(30 seconds of silence)
Koren: Daddo, you love your job, so do you tickle your boss?

 
 

Korenisms: Challenge Edition

02 Dec

Should I be alarmed that when my kids are riding bikes in the street and I call out the “Car coming!” warning, my son’s response is “Bring it!”…?

 
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Posted in Kid Quotes, Koren

 

Korenisms: Dear Edition

02 Dec

“Mama, I can’t write without a marker.”
“The markers are on the art table.  Why don’t you go get one.”
“Mama, would you be a dear* and go get it for me please?”

 

*Complete with impish grin

 
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Posted in Kid Quotes, Koren

 

Madagascar Ice Sculpture Exhibit

25 Nov

Yesterday, we took our elves to the annual Ice Exhibit at the Gaylord Texan.  It’s always fun to go to the Gaylord at Christmas time … or as Kaelin, calls it, “Santa Land.”

We enjoy touring the ice exhibit each year – it’s fascinating what artists can do with blocks of colored ice.

The kids always look forward to zooming down the ice slide.

On the drive home, the kids made sure their elves were safely buckled.

Koren said that he AND Eddie had a great time, but he got pretty quiet on the drive home.  He seems to be fighting a bug or something, and the morning activity just wore him out.  When we got home, he had a mild temperature and went straight to bed.  He seemed to feel better after a 3-hour nap, and we’re hoping he can sleep off whatever it is that’s dragging him down.  This morning he’s in good spirits and his temp has gone down, but we’re making him take it easy today since we have Jens’ birthday celebration this evening.

 
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Posted in Christmas Elves, Holidays, Kaelin, Koren, Photos

 

Sleep… or Lack Thereof

09 Oct

I have always described Koren as a “crappy sleeper.”  It’s true.  Unlike his sister, who has been known to sleep through the house alarm, Koren is a light sleeper, whose sleep cycles seem to include multiple “Wake up” modes.  He didn’t sleep through the night until he was 3, and even then it was only temporary.  At age 4, he’s up 1-3 times per night, either making his way down to our room or calling to us from the top of the stairs.

He’s very fragile in the middle of the night, but most of the time he doesn’t really need anything other than to go potty – which he is perfectly capable of doing by himself.  His only reason for waking us up is more or less that he wants company – a cuddle before bed and someone to tuck him in.  Once we tuck him back in, he goes back to sleep without any resistance.

And while that’s kind of cute during the day time, I have very little patience for it at 11:45pm, 1:30am, 3:15am and 5:45am.

We’ve tried a few different ways to get him to sleep through the night, but as of yet have been unable to find a currency that will motivate him enough to change his behavior in this particular area.  Positive reinforcement only works sometimes, and even then only temporarily.  Lately we’ve told him he’s going to lose a marble* for every time he wakes us up.  We did specify that if he has a scary dream or is actually sick or hurting then that doesn’t count. Coincidentally, the frequency of “bad dreams” has gone up exponentially over the past week.  :-/

Last night it was the same old thing – I awoke in the middle of the night to tearful cries for “Mama!” at the top of the stairs.  After instructing him to go to the bathroom (WHY does it never occur to him to just do that first?  If he would just GO to the bathroom instead of bursting into tears at the fact that he’s awake, he could probably manage to get himself back to sleep.  But it’s like some kind of disconnect between the part of his brain that wakes up because he’s uncomfortable and the part that commands action to resolve the discomfort.)

After he had gone potty, quit crying, and been herded back to bed, I informed him in no uncertain terms that he had lost a marble and that waking everyone in the house up in the middle of the night for no reason was unacceptable.  That everyone needs their sleep, INCLUDING HIM.  This was not news to him.  We had this same discussion before bed.

As I was leaving his room, a small voice stopped me.

“Mama… do you know why I called you?”
“Why.”
“Because I love you.”

Ok, that?  THAT?????  IS NOT FAIR.

As if my ever-loving sanity wasn’t already hanging in the balance at this moment (sleep debt is not my friend, which is why I was pretty much half crazy and socially inept while my kids were infants), I JUST SCOLDED MY KID FOR REQUESTING AFFECTION IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND HE HAS TO GO AND GET ALL STICKY GOOEY SWEET ABOUT IT?

And yes, he did get an extra hug and cuddles because I am a sucker and he has my number.

Today marks two months since Xander went to be with the angels.  So while I sit here feeling sleep deprived and grouchy over the fact that I am sometimes grossly outmaneuvered by two little people (I am the adult, I should be better at this!!), I can’t help but think of parents who would give anything to be woken up in the middle of the night by their crying child who just wants to cuddle.

And it leaves me feeling kind of selfish.  Because as my mom says, “this too will pass.”  (Granted, she also said that when he was one, and it was a little more believable then.)  But whenever it does pass, I will probably long for those days when he wanted nothing more than to crawl up into my lap and rock for a while.

But rest assured that when he’s grown and has his own adorable crappy sleeper to deal with, I won’t pass on the opportunity to say HA!  IT’S YOUR TURN NOW.

*Our behavior/chores/rewards system uses marbles as a kind of currency.  I thought I had already written about it, but I can’t find it.  “Losing your marbles” in this house refers to the consequence for poor behavior… though if I ever do lose MY marbles, it might be closely linked to the kids losing theirs.