Archive for the ‘Pregnancy’ Category

Stuff My Kids Have Said in the Past 48 Hours

21 Apr
This is what I get when I ask them to stand up straight, like a soldier.

This is what I get when I ask them to stand up straight for a picture (like a soldier).  Hooligans.

 

This weekend we took our kids to dinner at a nice sushi restaurant.  As we were leaving, one of the restaurant staff members stopped us to comment how cute, well-behaved, and well-mannered our children were – that clearly we had “the whole package.”  We thanked him, and left the restaurant thinking, “If only you knew…”

Sometimes I think it’s a wonder that we’re even ALLOWED to have more kids.

*  *  *

“Mama, I’m not saying you’re fat… but I can totally tell you’re pregnant from the back.”
“Thanks, Koren.”
“What?  I’m not saying you look fat.”
“That’s exactly what you’re saying.”
“No, because you’re not fat, you’re pregnant.  I can just tell from the back because you’re … bigger.”
“Koren, it would be a good idea for you to stop talking now.”
“WOW, CAN I MEASURE YOUR THIGHS?”
“No you can not.  Please go somewhere else now.”
“But… can I show Kaelin???  KAELIN COME HERE AND LOOK AT MAMA’S THIGHS.”

*  *  *

Pastor: “We have died to sin…”
Kaelin: “You don’t look dead.”

*  *  *

“Mama, we learned in school that Forgiveness is ‘deciding that a person who has wronged you doesn’t have to pay.’  So you can’t give me a consequence for disobeying, because that means you haven’t forgiven me.”

(I may need to suggest that the school examine the differences between “forgiveness” and “grace”…)

*  *  *

“Mama, look!  We mixed our paint colors together and made a new color!  We call it ‘Alchemy.'”

*  *  *

Koren was following Kaelin around, nit-picking everything she was doing (or not doing).  She was ignoring him, and headed out to the sun room.
“Kaelin, you need to pick up your shoes.  Kaelin, you’re supposed to be-”  (The door closed in his face.)
He let out a big sigh and shook his head.
“Oh, Kaelin…  Sometimes life with her is so hard.”

*  *  *

“Koren are you sure your slippers need to be washed?”
“Yes, they’re dirty.”
“They’re brand new.  How are they dirty?”
“I stuck them in my underwear to see how big it would make my penis look.  It looked really big!”

*  *  *

During the church service, Kaelin entertained herself for a few minutes by listing members of her family and one word to describe each of them:
Cousin: Active
Aunt: Busy
Uncle: Willing
Kaelin: Funny
Mama: Firm
Daddo: Ridiculous
Koren: Weird
Grandmommy: Kind
Grandpa: Patient

Koren asked her what “firm” meant.  She spent a few moments in consternation, trying to come up with a definition, and eventually said she couldn’t tell him because “Mama won’t like it.”

“It means I make you follow the rules,” I suggested.  She readily agreed to that as a suitable way to put it.  I kind of wish I could have been in her head when she was filtering her OWN definitions though.

*  *  *

“Kaelin, you’re getting tall. Are you growing AGAIN? Who gave you permission to grow?”
“Daddo, YOU gave me permission to grow when you sexed Mama and made me.”
Realizing that he had just completely lost control of this conversation, J stood there blinking in shock – which she apparently interpreted as his failure to comprehend what she was talking about.
So she punctuated the announcement with, “You know, …” (insert pelvic thrust).

DISCLAIMER: While the fact that we are having a baby soon has opened the door to many … delicate … conversations about where babies come from, at no time did any of them involve any form of pelvic thrusting.  I HAVE NO IDEA where she learned (or came up with) that.

 
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Posted in Kaelin, Kid Quotes, Koren, Parenting, Pregnancy, School

 

Home Again, Home Again

16 Jun

I spent Father’s Day laid up in bed with a really sore back. I didn’t even get J a card. He says he doesn’t mind though because a) he got a son for Fathers Day, and b) he spent Mothers’ Day laid up in bed with an illness and the flowers he ordered for me never came – so he figures we’re even.

We’re all home and adjusting to life with 2 kids. My parents volunteered to relieve Kaelin of her cabin fever this afternoon, so she’s currently swimming over at their house – undoubtedly having a blast. Jens’ parents are at a movie, so it’s just the two of us and a very sleepy baby. And it’s now that I realize how easy it is to care for just one child, especially a newborn. I suppose it’s all relative though, because I don’t remember feeling that it was easy the first time around.

Our little guy was induced on Thursday and everything went as planned with the exception that he made his appearance earlier than expected. Following his sister’s footsteps, I suppose. At least the doctor was already at the hospital this time – she almost missed it last time.

He tried to turn his head funny coming out, so I ended up with 3rd degree tears (again) but since he took a full 5 minutes of pushing to come out (instead of 10 seconds), the doctor did have time to do an episiotomy this time. Consequently, I think the healing process is going faster this time around.

And God bless Wayne, the epidural doctor. Sidestepping “Eve’s curse” is truly a lifesaver. I had a few minutes of experiencing a small fraction of what it would be like to go “natural” and believe me when I say I want no part of that.

The head-turn resulted in a squished nose for the baby, but fortunately it’s straightening itself out.

I have a ton of pictures on my camera that I have yet to download or look at, but when I do I’ll be sure to post a couple here.

Honestly, the most difficult part of this has been Kaelin. She did not do too well with us both being gone at the hospital, and suffered quite a bit of anxiety and outright sadness about it, especially at night. It was heartbreaking, and there was nothing we could do about it. Unfortunately, “Mama and Daddo will be home soon” wasn’t much consolation, and her inability to sleep well contributed to her overall stress level.

She’s much happier now that we’re home, and she’s totally in love with her Baby Brother. Which is, of course, good and bad. She’s a bit overstimulated and has more energy than normal (which is, um, a lot), so getting her to be still and calm and quiet around the baby has been a total lost cause.

Being the incredibly tactile kid that she is, she wants to hold/touch/kiss him 24 hours per day and does not understand why she can’t. My heart has skipped a thousand beats so far. We’ve let her hold the baby in her lap, but it requires constant attentiveness because, well, SHE’S TWO.

When she’s not holding the baby, she’s trying to climb onto whoever is. She’s relentless and spends every waking minute trying to touch the baby, which is stressful because there is literally no “safe” place we can put him that she can’t get to, aside from holding him while we’re standing up. So we’ve had to begin a pretty intense “training” session with her on where the boundaries are, with strict and consistent consequences. It requires constant energy, and more of it than I have at this time.

I know that sounds like a lot of complaining, and I don’t mean to imply that she’s being “bad.” She’s just TWO and very fascinated by this new person in her household. She calls him “Sweetheart” and “Little Fella” and becomes very concerned about his well-being at the slightest frown. She offers him pacifiers and blankets and words of comfort while she gently strokes the back of his head. “It’s alright, Sweetheart, you don’t have to be upset. Are you hungry Little Fella?” And once we get past this “training” period, I’m sure my stress level will lower substantially.  It’s already getting better as she’s learning the “new rules.”

Anyway, our little guy is an exceptional sweetie and we’ve really enjoyed having him so far.

 

Koren James

16 Jun

Finally got some pictures downloaded…

 
 

Home Again, Home Again

14 Jun

Well, we’re all home again, which is very nice.  Jens and I are looking forward to sleeping in our own bed again, even if only for a few hours at a time.  Not that it comes close to the whole “giving birth and recovery” experience, but husbands do get a few sympathy points for having to sleep on the plastic bricks they call “fold out beds” in the hospital.

Koren is doing well.  He’s very sweet, cuddly and mellow.  I remember Kaelin being a sweet baby, but not in quite the same way.  She was never particularly mellow. 

Koren sleeps A LOT.  I even have to wake him up and coax him into nursing.  I’m going to have to start setting my alarm, lest I forget – I never needed reminders with Kaelin because she was like clockwork and did not let us get away with being behind schedule.

So the second one is definitely different than the first, even though it’s only been a couple of days.

Honestly, the most difficult part of this has been Kaelin.  She did not do too well with us both being gone at the hospital, and suffered quite a bit of anxiety and outright sadness about it, especially at night.  It was heartbreaking, and there was nothing we could do about it.  Unfortunately, “Mama and Daddo will be home soon” wasn’t much consolation, and her inability to sleep well contributed to her overall stress level.

She’s much happier today having us all around, and she’s totally in love with her Baby Brother.  Which is, of course, good and bad.  She’s a bit overstimulated and has more energy than normal (which is, um, a lot), so getting her to be still and calm and quiet around the baby has been a total lost cause.

Being the incredibly tactile kid that she is, she wants to hold/touch/kiss him 24 hours per day and does not understand why she can’t.  My heart has skipped a thousand beats today.  We’ve let her hold the baby in her lap, but it requires constant attentiveness because, well, SHE’S TWO. 

When she’s not holding the baby, she’s trying to climb onto whoever is.  She’s relentless and spends every waking minute trying to touch the baby, which is stressful because there is literally no “safe” place we can put him that she can’t get to, aside from holding him while we’re standing up.  So we’ve had to begin a pretty intense “training” session with her on where the boundaries are, with strict and consistent consequences.  It requires constant energy, and more of it than I have at this time.

I know that sounds like a lot of complaining, and I don’t mean to imply that she’s being “bad.”  She’s just TWO and very fascinated by this new person in her household.  She calls him “Sweetheart” and “Little Fella” and becomes very concerned about his well-being at the slightest frown.  She offers him pacifiers and blankets and words of comfort while she gently strokes the back of his head.  “It’s alright, Sweetheart, you don’t have to be upset.  Are you hungry Little Fella?”  And once we get past this “training” period, I’m sure my stress level will lower substantially.

There are a TON of pictures on my camera, none of which did I take, and therefore I haven’t seen any of them yet.  So once I sort through and download them all I’ll post some here.  In the meantime, I hear a hungry little guy downstairs.

 
 

Amy Gets Feel Good Juice

12 Jun

The epidural is in. Such an interesting procedure to watch.

Do you ever think about how much trust we blindly give medical professionals? It is, of course, grounded trust. Their profession is to care for and assist patients, but it is interesting, as I sit and watch a man I don’t know insert tubes and liquids into my wife’s spine. I could not do the same. i don’t know what the liquids are. I do not feel the same thing so feels with it (or rather, doesn’t feel).

Contractions are getting a bit closer together, though Amy can not feel them. We’re looking at maybe a couple hours more, but you never know about these things.

All I know is, I appreciate and trust medical professionals. My wife is relaxing comfortably in no pain, slightly sleepy.

Sidestepping Eve’s curse for a few hours is priceless.

 
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Posted in Family, Pregnancy

 

In the Delivery Room

12 Jun

So today is the day – assuming, of course. Everything looks smooth so far, but not much to report. It’s always a bit surreal sitting in a hospital room and feeling like you should participate somehow, but it’s the constant hurry up and wait.

We got here at about 7:30 this morning and commenced with the hooking up of tubes, the drawing of blood, the application of about 25 monitoring devices and a partridge in a pear tree. Kind of leaves you in awe of the awesomeness of the moms who used to do this without any pain killers, antibiotics, blood pressure monitors or comfy (ish) beds. And they had 17 kids.

Being a dad x2 will be an amazing trip to be sure. A bit apprehensive, a bit excited, and a bit nervous. We haven’t had a boy before, you see. Girls are a known quantity, boys a bit of a mystery. Plus, I know how boys think, so having a little one of me might be familiar, but terrifying.  grin

I’m sure we’ll have more to report soon. Meanwhile, the drum of the heartbeat and the drip, drip, drip of the IV are keeping us company.

Jens

 

Not Cool

25 May

DUDE.  I’M HOT.  And not in that “I feel sexy because I’m pregnant” way.  (BTW, is that for real?  Is there anyone out there who actually feels beautiful and sexy when they’re pregnant?  Because seriously?  I just feel like a cow.  MOO.)

I’m hot because our air conditioner is busted.

Great timing, right?  A holiday weekend, so nobody’s coming out to look at it until Tuesday. 

A holiday weekend, in the now-early-summer Texas weather, when the temperature is in the mid-90’s. 

A holiday weekend during Texas summer when I’m in the late stages of pregnancy so my body temperature is already 10 degrees above everyone else’s. 

A holiday weekend in the Texas summer when I’m uber pregnant, AND WE HAVE COMPANY.

Really, I couldn’t think of a better time for our air conditioner to go kaput.  This is Day 5 and I’m just about ready to look into nearby motels.  Maybe I could just sleep in the movie theatre.  Or Albertsons – they always keep that place at 55 degrees, which is usually why I specifically DON’T shop there.  Not sounding like such a bad idea right about now.

Ice cream and snow cones, anyone?

 

Pregnancy Makes Me Stupid

22 May

Totally skipped my dentist appointment yesterday.  Even after they called to remind me and I said, “Oh sure, I’ll be there.”  Also forgot to register Kaelin for Parents’ Night Out this Friday, despite – according to him – numerous reminders from Jens.

Although, I must say that I still think I’m doing better than last time.  When I was pregnant with Kaelin I misplaced a data CD at work.  Looked everywhere for it knowing I JUST HAD IT, and eventually gave up.  I found it the next day when I opened the refrigerator to get a snack.

Three weeks to go!

 
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Posted in Pregnancy